I am A ebony woman who dates the “rainbow.” If you put every guy I happened to be a part of in the past decade into one room (that group includes random dates, relationships, situationships and this 1 time i acquired hitched), you’d have fabulous, multihued bouquet of masculine beauty. A kind, smart man who moves me, could possibly rock beside me, regardless of competition or ethnicity. I’m not on that absurd color-blind train; I’m simply an equal-opportunity dater.
Most my Ebony girlfriends solely and purposely date Ebony males, so I get a lot of questions regarding my UN-friendly dating roster and nearly all of those concerns are concerning the white dudes. “Is it pink?” “Are you sure it’s maybe not some jungle temperature kind thing?” “Has he seen Love Jones?” The answers to those concerns is determined by the guy—could be tan, pink or some combination. Only one time had been it a fetish thing on the guy’s end, and I also deaded that when I happened to be aware. Seeing specific movies is not a relationship requirement of me personally. You better know and love Stevie Wonder, though. That’s life immediately.
Then you will find two unpleasant statements that I usually hear. The very first is, “I’m so tired of these Black men. In a few minutes, I’m about to resemble you in order to find a White boy.” Ugh.
We find this become problematic because every thing about any of it is incorrect. You must never date some body of the race that is certain you are feeling exhausted by the antics of males of some other battle. It’s not fair to your Black girl, the White dude or Black men. There are numerous good Ebony males available to you. For genuine. Guys within my family, my circle of friends and previous loves attest compared to that. If you’re operating into Ebony dudes that are maybe not worth 25 %, their behavior is not some genetic problem associated to their ethnic history, they simply aren’t the people for you personally, for just about any wide range of other reasons.
The White guy gets the end that is short of stick for the reason that situation, too, because he’s a sucka-ass plan B and doesn’t even comprehend it. The Ebony woman loses because she’s not addressing the real issues that contribute to her dating dilemmas.
One other unpleasant statement we get from my Black girlfriends regarding dating White dudes is, “You’re the type of Ebony woman White dudes like. White men aren’t drawn to me.” Chile, stop it. If there is something I know about heterosexual guys, it is the fact that irrespective of their preferences that are physical at the conclusion of this time they the same as females. I’ve seen White dudes with a wide array of Ebony females.
I am a thin, Harlem-residing, Detroit-born, master’s degree-having 34-year-old divorced Ebony girl whose passport is on pimpin’. Whenever buddies say I’m the “type” White guys like, they have been mostly referring to my small frame, training and breadth of travel. Nonetheless, I am not a boy whisperer that is white. You’ll find nothing about me personally that produces me a “safe” Black chick for White guys to holler at. The reality is that I have a really active social life in a diverse town, and we usually find myself in spaces full of men of various racial, ethnic and nationality backgrounds. My dating roster reflects those social encounters.
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Nearly all of my girlfriends who talk about being fed up with Black dudes, aren’t being totally severe. They aren’t going to abandon black colored men (I have actuallyn’t, either). They’ve been simply considering dipping their toes into something new. But extending into interracial relationship territory isn’t something doing being an “I hate you plenty appropriate type that is now” of art test toward Black guys. Also, regardless of the insane and very wrong chatter that only Black men are interested in Black females, attention from non-Black men just isn’t some kind of extra validation of a Black woman’s beauty.
Black colored women are stunning, period. There is no need for outside validation. I have never sensed unique because of the fact that is simple of White guys attempt to court me personally. Needless to say guys want to date me personally. Why not? Pfft!
That said, interracial relationships aren’t for everyone, and that’s fine. We date interracially, but I’m not spreading the gospel of United Colors of Benetton dating. Accomplish that if you are suited by it. Don’t take action if you’re not inclined to. Simple. There’s nothing wrong with Black women staying with Ebony males or vice versa. You should be clear with who you are and just why you need who you want.
